Add Water and Stir :: Simple Thoughts

A Question of Survival
By Thea Rashad

I’m a fanatic about Irish Spring soap, especially after an intense workout. I’m
almost gleeful about it. I guess it’s the fact that you can instantly see the
results. You can see the dirt, sweat and grime run off your body and down the
drain. You’re clean. No, you’re better than clean. You’re squeaky clean like
something new! If only personal challenge could be so easily sloughed off and
down the drain!

I’ve stood in many showers, letting the steamy water pour over me. But, today
was different. It was as if a Spirit of Gratitude had washed over me, making me
celebrate the gift of the moment. A hot shower, inside a bathroom, inside an
apartment where there’s food and a bed, paid for with a job, a profession that
has afforded me many opportunities, a portion of my purpose, a sense of
significance that reaffirms my faith, a faith that makes me grateful for warm
running water.

Years ago, it was something entirely different that had stepped into a shower
with me. Depression and despair were my companions after a great personal
loss. The heartbreak was palpable. It was all I could do to be present and
accounted for on a daily basis. So when morbid thoughts crept into my mind, it
was difficult to feel gratitude when I was drowning in grief. For a brief moment, I
was seduced by the thought of a self-induced painless peace. I had a choice to
make. We all do--every single day.

Before she died, my late aunt waged a one-woman war against a terminal illness.
She was a Soul Survivor. They’re the kind of people who live glass-half-full. Their
pasts are painful and circumstances sometimes tragic. Yet they don’t hang their
coats in the years of their discontent. They don’t dwell on the three P’s: the
past, pain and pity. Emotionally, they carry an umbrella in case it rains, and
shades for when it’s too sunny and a sweater for when there’s a chill in the air.

They’re ready because they’re about the business of living—not waiting,
complaining and over analyzing. They don’t cry wolf and they don’t make a
profession of playing victim—even though their circumstances would allow for it.
A Soul Survivor knows life is a choice. It’s also a process. You have to decide: do
you need a change of heart or a changed heart? A change of heart is to change
your mind. But, a changed heart means you’ve changed your life. You can
choose to be stunted or you can come out of your pain, past or pride changed—
for the better. You can be a phoenix rising from the ashes or you can play victim
in the fire. You can sink or you can rise and live.

I’m sure my aunt wondered how she got cancer. Relatives of murder victims
wonder how criminals can be so cruel. Those are worthy questions. But, for
those of us merely dealing with inconvenience versus tragedy, the only question
that’s worth our time and effort is: how? How will we get through? But,
insecurity, emotional entitlement, passive dependency, fear and hurt often leave
us lingering in the bottomless pit of Why. Why me? Why now? Why, why, why,
why, why? If you insist on an answer, why not give yourself one that offers you
a chance at peace?

The "why" really doesn’t matter. Occasionally, it might offer closure but it can’t
undo what’s done. Soul survivors have figured this out. That’s why they’re
always onto what’s next. Their state of mind is in motion not in reverse or stuck
on pause. Their mental tapes aren’t on constant rotation. What’s next maybe as
clear as muddy pond, but they’re determined to see what the end is going to
be.

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COMING SOON...In the Garden
Ever been mad at God?: Get Ready to Rumble!

"A change of heart
is to change your
mind.
But, a changed heart
means you’ve
changed your life.
You can choose to
be stunted or you
can come out of
your pain, past or
pride changed—for
the better."