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Don't Judge Me!
By Thea Rashad
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
Outside a local café, a driver in a convertible sports car screeches by in a pedestrian friendly
traffic circle and belts out an authentic Dukes of Hazzard shout, “Yeeeaaah! Woo!”
My first thought is the driver is an immature jerk with no regard for safety—period. I’ve
quickly assessed the situation based on the minor heart attack his NASCAR performance
gave me and everyone else in the vicinity.
But, perhaps he hit the gas meaning to hit the brake. Maybe the car malfunctioned. Maybe
he’d just been cured of cancer and couldn’t help but let it rip. His intent is up for
interpretation given that I wasn’t inside the car. Similarly, we’ll rarely have the “inside”
track on a neighbor’s transgressions unless they choose to share the details. We’re usually
looking in from the outside, standing on the sidewalk observing the speeding car and
sometimes, the eventual car wreck.
The point is: it’s human nature to judge. Throughout the day we make countless judgments
that either keep us from harm or doing harm. We even make judgments that justify our
actions. Judgment is acceptable until our assessment of a situation is in conflict with
someone else’s comfort zone; until we’ve stepped on a few toes and ruffled a few feathers.
Then it’s the “bad” kind of judgment, right? The common belief is: if we’re believers, then we’
re going against one of the most referenced sayings of Jesus, “Judge not, that you be not
judged” (Matthew 7:1). Does this mean we should keep our mouths shut; refrain from
offering our opinion in fear of appearing self-righteous? Not necessarily.
I’m confident Jesus knew the difference between being critical with your mouth and helping
a friend in the wrong through love. But, make no mistake about it—both require an
assessment of the immediate situation. That’s a nice way of saying: judgment. Yep, the
other bad word. It conjures up the times we’ve either uttered or heard the defensive
comeback, “Don’t judge me” or the apologetic declaration, “It’s not my place to judge.”
For the sake of this discussion, I am not talking about differences of opinion. I’m not talking
about the meritless attacks often heard on talk radio where there’s a lack of respect for
another’s right to disagree with us. No, I’m talking about the judgments that call into
question whether a person’s actions are good or bad, wise or foolish, spiritually sound or
sinful. Yes, the Day of Judgment is reserved for God. But, here on Earth, there are things
believers cannot turn a blind eye to— if they believe what they claim to believe.
Criticism vs. Christ-like Encouragement
The Sermon on the Mount in the Book of Matthew is a real dress-down. Jesus took Pharisee
and the Jews to task. He quite literally and figuratively stood up for what he believed to be
true. Yet when people often reference Matthew 7:1, they forget this. Jesus is criticizing the
non-believers of his time. But, he’s also encouraging the captivated audience on the
mountain with him.
If his listeners could no more follow the laws of God as Pharisee, then they had no right to
judge. They would be hypocrites. Still, this is where some believers hang their hats, dust off
their hands and fold their arms. They conclude: if we’re all sinners and we all fall short of
God’s grace we’re never in a position to pass judgment on another.
Wrong. That’s exactly what Jesus did that day on the mountain. Keep in mind, he didn’t call
into question his followers’ self ¬worth or whether Pharisee was beyond redemption.
Scripture says no sinner has the right to question whether another should have access to
the Throne (Matthew 18:10-14). To do so, is unrighteous and destructive criticism. Instead
Jesus advises his listeners not to look down their noses at another when they’re guilty of
the same offense.
But, he’s also asking his audience to consider their own role in the Kingdom. Like my
grandmother’s stern warning, “I hear what you say, now let me see what you do,”
believers are encouraged to follow through. The Holy Father really wants us to get it!
Scripture encourages us to surround ourselves with wise friends (Proverbs 13:20) so that
“iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) and we can learn from one another. Those lessons
don’t come in a vacuum, neatly packaged in politically correct wrapping.
If this is the believer’s charge directly from God, then how is it possible to sit silently on the
sideline without encouraging a friend in the wilderness to do the right thing? How is it
possible not to speak out against injustice or the perils of the world? That’s not judgment.
That’s love.
If you were going to take a long walk on a short pier and wanted to be convinced
otherwise, which neighbor would you call? Is it the one who seemingly refrains from passing
judgment and declares it’s none of their business or the one who always tells you the truth
at risk of losing your friendship? There’s an Islamic hadith— similar to a proverb— that
suggests when removing a fly from a friend, refrain from using an axe. Ideally, help,
correction and encouragement should be administered with compassion. But, what does the
believer do when their on the receiving end of that tell-tale statement, “Don’t judge me?”
Just Lost or a Lost Cause?
I like the Jesus who turned over tables in the temple. In that moment, he was frustrated,
disheartened, angry and rightfully so. The moneychangers had no regard for the
consequences of their actions. When believers witness someone in spiritual despair, they
must question whether they’re merely in the wilderness, lost in their mess or sadly, are
they a lost cause? The moneychangers simply didn’t care. They consciously chose to
manipulate the system repeatedly for their own gain.
If a neighbor has wandered off the path and is unwilling to come home, a believer might
feel much like Jesus felt that day in the temple. And if the Messiah can’t turn them around,
what more could a friend do? Tell the truth then stand on the edge of the forest and love
them as Jesus loves them—even if you have to at a distance. When they’re ready to
emerge from the darkness, they should feel comforted that a true friend indeed loves at all
times (Proverbs 17:17). But, if they have the slightest hint of resentment, they should know
a true friend isn’t required to walk through the wilderness with them. That duty is
exclusively reserved for the ultimate judge: the Lord.
A Little Bit of Salt & Light
Believers have a two-word job description: salt and light. That’s all God has asked of his
followers (Matthew 5:13-15). In this writer’s humble opinion, it’s God’s way of asking us to
consider what we’re really made of and are we willing to be a witness?
Beyond the rituals and the rhetoric, is the believer’s spiritual walk full of faithful flavor,
seasoned well with the Holy Spirit or is it filled with lip service and lies that dim God’s Light?
If we’re to lead by example, we cannot speak one thing with our mouths and then live in
contradiction. From that position, neither can we judge (Romans 2).
But, if the fabric of our lives reflects God’s nature; then we should let Him use us to help
others. That might mean screaming, “STOP!” at the speeding driver in the traffic circle. It
could mean encouraging him to follow the rules of the road. It might mean safely getting
out of the way, if he continues to throw caution to the wind. In none of these possible
scenarios does arrogance and self-righteousness have a place.
Only the Lord can change a heart—if it needs changing. The eye is the lamp of the body,
according to Scripture. So we should make judgments that light our own path first. And
maybe, just maybe— if your way is lit— a lost soul in the dark might follow. And only they
can be the judge of that.
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| "I’m confident Jesus knew the difference between being critical with your mouth and helping a friend in the wrong through love. But, make no mistake about it—both require an assessment of the immediate situation. That’s a nice way of saying: judgment." |
